Do you ever worry about something you want to say to another person? Do you spend a lot of time considering the best way to say it? Do you ever wonder about how a person may perceive what we want to say to them? Do you roll it around in your head, bounce it off another friend, or first test out a related idea before coming right out and saying it? Does the delay in saying something then prevent you from having the conversation?
Do you see the cycle you’ve gotten caught in? Here’s some steps to take in being a good communicator.
Have confidence in who you are.
You have a right to your feelings and ideas. The only way others know what you’re thinking or feeling is when you say something.
You can’t control how others will feel about the information that you say to them. That’s impossible. However, you can be clear and respectful at the same time, which others will appreciate even if they don’t like what you say.
Don’t stress about what other people may think.
When you worry about hurting another person’s feelings, you actually muddle the message you’re trying to communicate. This will end up holding you back.
It’s okay to think about it and get another opinion.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious about what you want to say, it’s okay to talk to a person that you trust. But remember, the person you intended to tell still doesn’t know… until you tell them.
It’s okay to wait to say something.
When something is upsetting, you need some time to process it. There are some good reasons why you wouldn’t say something right away. Consider if you feel safe saying it directly back to the person. Consider if this is a matter to report to the university.